Member-only story
If you’re receiving a massage, it’s not strange to give feedback*.
Ooh — that spot is sensitive. Can you be more gentle?
That feels good. More please.
Ow, that hurts.
How might we use the language of the physical to expand our vocabulary for touchy-feely topics?
I saw this possibility in conversation with my partner.
We talked about my feelings of discomfort about a topic. On her end it seemed to be resolved. On my end, I felt sheepish that it still felt incomplete.
She offered to address the issue by changing her behavior. But that compromise felt like an over-correction, and I didn’t want to set a bad precedent.
That’s the spot.
That’s not the spot.
We kept going.
She generously gave space to let me explore the edges of this topic, and why I was still feeling what I was feeling.
I found one spot that still felt sore.
She gave me acknowledgement and reassurance
Poof! The tension disappeared.
An emotional knot I didn’t know was there, was suddenly untangled and released.
And this happened because my partner was massaging me…
